Connie Talbot–Is giving a child what she wants the right thing to do?

I received an email recently with links to videos showcasing Connie Talbot, the child singer who stole the show on Britain’s Got Talent in 2007.  At six years of age, the little girl displayed a great deal of natural talent, not only for singing, but for performing, standing all alone on that stage and belting out “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” with the confidence that most people don’t even have singing in the shower. It’s evident from watching her that she loves singing and performing. My first reaction was to be as fascinated as everyone else seems to be.  But then I saw all the videos spread all over the internet, the advertisements for her two albums, and the adoration that her fans express, and I started to feel a bit ill.

It’s no secret that child proteges rarely end well.  For a variety of reasons, such early careers seem to hit rock bottom just as early.  I’m not a psychologist, and I’m not going to dwell on why this is and what can be done to prevent it.  The more I think about Connie’s big career, the more I think about her parents.  What on earth can they possibly be thinking, exposing their innocent daughter to international fame? One article I read said that her mother said Connie loved to sing and so they bought her a karaoke machine since they couldn’t afford singing lessons.  Ah, such a sweet story of sacrifice and a love that finds satisfaction in providing for the desires of a beloved child.  And really, I have no problem with that.

Young children have dreams–it’s part of being young.  Ask any six year old what they want to be when they grow up and I can guarantee they will have an answer. Some of them may even be realistic dreams–truly attainable goals such as becoming a policeman or a firefighter, or a doctor, or a nurse, etc.  Some of them may not be quite as attainable, such as being a princess or an alien hunter.  Despite the level of realism that such dreams have, most of them are heavily influenced by the child’s environment and frequently change several times before that child reaches an age where such dreams will be acted upon.

Just because a child displays a talent for nurturing and healing and desires to be a nurse, shouldn’t mean you need to take that child to a hospital at the tender age of six and start them on their nursing career right then and there.  And I know that there would be cries of outrage if you allowed a six-year-old to start fighting criminals or fires. But that’s exactly what was done with little Connie Talbot.  She loves to sing, she dreams of being a professional singer … so what do they do, throw her onto a national stage that eventually gets her international attention.  She’s cute, she sings well, let’s get her out there and fulfill her dream…

So child proteges don’t get that very necessary time to grow into adult dreams.  Instead, they demonstrate a talent, even a desire or dream to do something with that talent, and suddenly that talent is all that represents them to an adoring public.  They are suddenly thrust into the reality of the expectations of fame and fortune.  For a child of six, or even eight, such desires are based purely on an innocent fantasy world, as it should be.  A child should be allowed to dream, not be thrust into the reality of big-time record dealers turning them down because of their age. (I respect you highly for that, Simon.  You may be the only one involved in this situation with good judgment).

I’m not ranting against little Connie Talbot and her desire to be a singer.  This rant is purely aimed at her parents, who have not displayed anything close to good parenting. Good parenting is not giving your child everything they desire, but giving them the things that are necessary for them to grow up to be well-rounded, well-adjusted, and happy adults.  Often times such a child needs discipline and restrictions far more than he or she needs the fulfillment of his or her childhood fantasies. I’m not talking about telling the poor child she can’t sing, but giving her the proper venues to sing for: a school’s talent show, a church kid’s choir, family get-togethers, etc.  Allow her to pursue her dream in ways that are proper for a child that young, shielding her from the reality of what the world can do to that dream.  Let her grow up and pursue it when all young people start pursuing careers, when she is old enough to understand some of the realities that are attached to that fantasy.

Frankly, parents who profit off of the beauty or talents of their children (whether or not that is their stated intent) make me sick, and that’s why I get ill when I hear little Connie Talbot performing for her adoring audience.  Her parents are quoted as saying that it would be cruel to stop her because she loves doing it.  I have to say that any parent who puts their child on an international stage is definitely being cruel, regardless of what the child wants.  Parents often have to do things contrary to the desires of their children.  It’s called parenting. I pray things turn out better for her than for other children like her in the past who were given adult careers before they were ever able to play with their childhood fantasies. I only wish more people were as appalled as I am.